Rainbow After Dark

Note: This episode includes emotionally vulnerable reflections on trauma, spiritual disillusionment, and the ongoing process of healing. While not graphic, the tone is raw and candid, including moments of frustration and tenderness. Please listen with care, especially if you are in a sensitive emotional state. As always, take what serves you and leave the rest.

In this tender episode of Rainbow After Dark, I invite you into the heart of my inner process—where emotion, intuition, and discernment meet in real time. I’ll share from the raw edge of my own sensitivity, and speak on what it means to feel deeply in a world that often rewards disconnection. With a nervous system shaped by trauma and a healing path rooted in embodiment and self-trust, we’ll explore the slow, courageous work of emotional alchemy: metabolizing emotion into wisdom without bypassing or self-abandonment.

Together, let’s challenge the polished narratives of mainstream spirituality. I offer a compassionate critique of ideas like “high vs. low vibrational emotions,” affirming instead that all feelings are inherently worthy of presence. To quote myself: “There’s no such thing as a low or high vibrational emotion, okay? I will die on this hill.”

This was recorded in a moment of real-time vulnerability, and The Alchemist’s Laboratory is more than a conversation—it’s a lived example. In a nuanced return to my own intuition, I’ll model how to stay with what’s real, even when it’s messy or uncomfortable.

This is an offering to those who feel deeply, who question spiritual shortcuts, and who are learning—again and again—that their sensitivity is not a flaw but a compass.

Thanks for listening to Rainbow After Dark! If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss future ones. If something resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts—feel free to leave a comment here, on YouTube, or connect with me on IG @RainbowAfterDark (I don’t use it much, but I exist!).

This podcast is a space for reflection and exploration—it is not a substitute for professional advice. Please take care of yourself and seek support as needed.

More ways to connect coming soon—stay tuned, and thanks for being here.

In this episode, we enter the soft, messy, ever-changing place of becoming—this is me coming home to myself in real time. This is an unscripted, vulnerable stream of thought on authenticity, emotional fluidity, embodiment, and the process of learning how to feel. Let’s explore the ways we’re often taught to hide, repress, or perform ourselves into safety—and what it means to begin shedding those layers.

We’ll talk about the fear that comes up when we let ourselves be seen, the complexity of discerning between intuition and trauma responses, and the tenderness of learning how to meet all of our emotions—especially the ones that feel inconvenient or overwhelming. This is an invitation (for you and for me) to soften, to stay curious, and to practice the radical art of not abandoning ourselves.

If you’re navigating your own return to self, I hope this feels like a small recognition along the way.

Welcome home. 💕

Thanks for listening to Rainbow After Dark! If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss future ones. If something resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts—feel free to leave a comment here, on YouTube, or connect with me on IG @RainbowAfterDark (I don’t use it much, but I exist!).

This podcast is a space for reflection and exploration—it is not a substitute for professional advice. Please take care of yourself and seek support as needed.

More ways to connect coming soon—stay tuned, and thanks for being here.

Note: This episode touches on themes of fire, loss, and trauma.

In this episode of Rainbow After Dark, we explore the beautiful, complicated truth of what it means to be human: we’re soft, squishy, sensitive things.

We’re made of water and nerve endings, after all—fluid-filled bodies with spongey brains and tender hearts trying to make sense of a world that often demands we toughen up and disconnect. But what if our sensitivity isn’t a flaw?

Let’s go on a journey through the nervous system—our body’s operating system—and the ways it silently shapes every part of our experience, from our emotions and relationships to our sense of safety and belonging.

I’ll do my best to name something many of us feel: that beneath our overwhelm, anxiety, and disconnection is a nervous system doing its best in a world that rarely feels safe.

This episode is a love letter to the sensitive ones, the tender-hearted, the emotionally attuned, and anyone who’s ever been told they were “too much.” It’s also an invitation—to soften, to listen, and to reconnect not just with yourself, but with the systems we live in and the culture we create together.

This episode closes with a short grounding practice to help you come home to your body.

Because regulation isn’t about fixing yourself.

It’s about remembering your softness, reclaiming your sensitivity, and building a world where it’s safe to belong.

(The longer practice mentioned in the episode is available as the “Soft Landing” Practice!)

Thanks for listening to Rainbow After Dark! If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss future ones. If something resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts—feel free to leave a comment here, on YouTube, or connect with me on IG @RainbowAfterDark (I don’t use it much, but I exist!).

This podcast is a space for reflection and exploration—it is not a substitute for professional advice. Please take care of yourself and seek support as needed.

More ways to connect coming soon—stay tuned, and thanks for being here.

In this episode of Rainbow After Dark, we explore the paradox of being both cherished and cast aside, inspired by the myth of Chrysomallos—the golden ram from Greek mythology. As someone who has lived the experience of being both the “golden child” and the “black sheep”, I found deep resonance in this story and how it reflects the roles we inherit in dysfunctional family systems.

How do these roles shape our sense of worth? What happens when we realize that our value isn’t in what we sacrifice, but in who we truly are? Through mythology, personal reflection, and a deep dive into family dynamics, I invite you to question the roles you’ve been assigned—and imagine what it might feel like to step beyond them.

You are more than what you give. You always have been. Thank you for being here.

Thanks for listening to Rainbow After Dark! If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss future ones. If something resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts—feel free to leave a comment here, on YouTube, or connect with me on IG @RainbowAfterDark (I don’t use it much, but I exist!).

This podcast is a space for reflection and exploration—it is not a substitute for professional advice. Please take care of yourself and seek support as needed.

More ways to connect coming soon—stay tuned, and thanks for being here.

Healing isn’t linear—it’s messy, cyclical, paradoxical, and often feels like we’re back where we started. But what if we’re actually spiraling forward? In this episode of Rainbow After Dark, we explore the nature of cycles—how they show up in nature, our bodies, and our healing journeys. From the moon’s phases to the rewiring of old patterns, we’ll dive into why we revisit wounds, how our bodies process healing on their own timeline, and why self-compassion is essential when it feels like we’re ‘going in circles.’ Because sometimes, moving through is the only way forward.

Thanks for listening to Rainbow After Dark! If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss future ones. If something resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts—feel free to leave a comment here, on YouTube, or connect with me on IG @RainbowAfterDark (I don’t use it much, but I exist!).

This podcast is a space for reflection and exploration—it is not a substitute for professional advice. Please take care of yourself and seek support as needed.

More ways to connect coming soon—stay tuned, and thanks for being here.

What happens when we stop running from the dark—when we step into it, hold it, and let it hold us? In this episode, we explore the depths of darkness—not just as pain or suffering, but as a space for transformation. Through my personal reflections on trauma, identity, and healing, let’s examine how darkness can be a guide rather than something to fear. From childhood wounds and chronic pain to relationship patterns and self-abandonment, I’ll share how facing the unknown led to clarity and growth.

Healing isn’t linear—it’s messy, cyclical, and paradoxical. But in the dark, we find ourselves. Join me as we illuminate the shadows, embracing the unseen and uncovering the wisdom that waits within.

Don’t forget to give the darkness a hug, too.

Thanks for listening to Rainbow After Dark! If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss future ones. If something resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts—feel free to leave a comment here, on YouTube, or connect with me on IG @RainbowAfterDark (I don’t use it much, but I exist!).

This podcast is a space for reflection and exploration—it is not a substitute for professional advice. Please take care of yourself and seek support as needed.

More ways to connect coming soon—stay tuned, and thanks for being here.

In this episode, we’re going on a personal journey through chronic pain, illness, and the revelation that these struggles are more than just physical—they’re neurological. After being diagnosed with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) at 28, I thought I had the answer, but years of persistent pain led me to a profound realization: the root of my discomfort wasn’t just my body, but my nervous system.

I explore how disconnected, survival-driven societal structures contribute to widespread nervous system dysregulation, leaving many of us stuck in a state of arrested development. I reflect on my own experiences with chronic illness, mental health diagnoses, and trauma, revealing how our nervous systems adapt to unsafe environments, often carrying invisible wounds that we can’t recognize. I’ll dive into the science of epigenetics, the link between trauma and physical health, and how this systemic disconnection can shape our biology in ways we might not expect.

This episode is an invitation to rethink how we view mental and physical health—not as isolated issues, but as interconnected expressions of the trauma and disconnection we’ve inherited. It’s a reminder that healing requires more than just a change in mindset—it calls for a deeper, body-based connection to ourselves and others. Tune in for an exploration of resilience, survival adaptations, and the urgent need for healing that goes beyond symptoms.

Thanks for listening to Rainbow After Dark! If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss future ones. If something resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts—feel free to leave a comment here, on YouTube, or connect with me on IG @RainbowAfterDark (I don’t use it much, but I exist!).

This podcast is a space for reflection and exploration—it is not a substitute for professional advice. Please take care of yourself and seek support as needed.

More ways to connect coming soon—stay tuned, and thanks for being here.

Welcome to Rainbow After Dark, a place where we whisper into the void and explore the weird, messy, beautiful paradox of being human. In this first episode, I introduce myself and the purpose behind this podcast—a space to connect and embrace both the light and the dark.

I share a bit about my own journey, how chaos and contradiction have shaped me, and why connection—to ourselves, to others, and to life itself—is at the heart of what we’ll explore together. I’ll reflect on the complexities of existence, navigating disconnection, and how paradox is something we’re meant to live in (and embrace! give it a hug!) instead of solve.

This isn’t a “how-to” guide. It’s an ever evolving experiment; a space for growth, wonder, and understanding. So, whether you’re here out of curiosity, by accident, or because you’re looking for a little light in the dark—thank you for joining me.

Thanks for listening to Rainbow After Dark! If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss future ones. If something resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts—feel free to leave a comment here, on YouTube, or connect with me on IG @RainbowAfterDark (I don’t use it much, but I exist!).

This podcast is a space for reflection and exploration—it is not a substitute for professional advice. Please take care of yourself and seek support as needed.

More ways to connect coming soon—stay tuned, and thanks for being here.

Transcript